Please check this out:
http://www.g2ic.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17391
and let me know if you have any ideas/leads. thanks guys.
mark
–who’s very close to selling his teggy, and very not happy right now.
You could have a broken timing belt. if the intake cam doesn’t spin (spun by the timing belt) the rotor can’t make contact with the points on the cap to make the spark at the wires / plugs. A quick test is to unplug the wire harness from the distributer remove the cap and have somone turn the car over while you watch the rotor. If the rotor is not spinning that is your problem.
I know your stressed out, but relax everyone is trying to help you.
just got back from where my car is parked (it’s a few miles away), and i tried that one. the rotor’s spinning fine. thanks for the idea though. 
Zoom your car is getting spark right?
Hmmmmm…checked all your fuses in your engine bay AND inside?
what about the ecu itsellf because that is what it sounds like. Im not dan the GURU but i know my $hit when it comes to trouble shooting. If iits getting fuel and spark then the only thing left is the thing that controls both! (the ecu) because they CAN burn out after time. They wont work at all sometimes. But im putting my chips on that ECU. I have a gut feeling it is that. If you are getting fuel and spark though. Just trying to help a fellow tegger out.
Patrick
actually it wasn’t getting spark…
i took the distributor to acura today, they replaced the igniter and coil (both of which i’d already replaced but oh well) and for some reason it fired right up. iono…it works now.
to those who took the time to help me via e-mail and IM’s, thank you SO much.
to those to whom i was an ass: my deepest apologies. with exams, the stress of trying to find a job, finding a place to live next year for school (moving off-campus), and then my car not working (for which my budget is tighter than a middle school locker room) i just snapped. i hope you all still <3 me as much as i <3 you. 
good to hear