my 2nd to last converstation with Bank of America (or an Intro to Linux)

GENERAL Off-Topic
1

Yes I have an account with Bank of America. I opened it years ago before I moved to dallas since they were in both NJ and TX. Kept the account because I got a break on fees due to a contract my employer at the time had with the bank.

Yesterday I attempt to purchase some film from a well known douchey pretentious film fan site (fuck them with the garden tool of your choosing as well. They bill my card here, under douchey-pretentious hipster film store USA, but since their parent company’s bank is in France I get hit with International Transaction fees. The fucking film ships from BROOKLYN NY!). The total cost with shipping is under $30. I attempt to pay with my debit card and I know for a fact that there is over $1000 in my account. Fucking Bank of America declines the transaction.

I call bank of america and run smack into a phone tree of choices that don’t pertain to my issue. So I call back and press 0 alot. After some holding I get a live rep. I verify all of my info then participate in this exchange

rep: so what seems to be the problem?

me: I’m trying to buy film online from DPHFS. The transaction has been declined why?

rep: Oh. lets see. Umm have you tried to clear your cookies and disable your anti-virus?

me: cookies clear, but I use Linux so I don’t have any anti-virus running

rep: Sir I’m sure Linux is a great anti-virus program but I am going to need you to disable it and clear your cookies in internet explorer

me: Linux is an operating system, its kind of like apple. I don’t use i.e., I use firefox and the cookies are clear.

rep: I don’t think you can do online banking with Linux. Sometimes firefox doesn’t work right you have to use IE

me: We’re done here. You suck. Your company fucking sucks. Your phone tree really fucking sucks. I’m hanging up and heading directly to the nearest bank america to close my account. I really don’t have the stomach for this shit. I’d love to shove the phone tree up whoever designed its ass. Hello? Hello? are you there?

Dial tone.

I have several items that are still pending ( car insurance and car payment are set up to draft sometime in the next 10 days. The state of NJ is depositing my tax refund into the account in similar time frame) and after that I am free. I opened an account online with a smaller chain bank that operates atleast 8 hours a day 7 days a week. They have a free coin counter machine and will charge me $3/month if my account dips below $100.

When I close my account at bank of america they will most likely ask me why I am leaving i will tell them I am tired of 1) shitty service. 2) Ever changing and expanding fees. 3) being charged for the privilege of keeping my money in their bank, while they use it to buy failing banks and bundled “financial services products” , aka subprime mortgages. It will be epic.

** If you’re used a “digital” parking meter, an ATM, a toll pass such as TollTag or EZ-Pass, bought something at Value Village or Unique Thrift, and flew on Jet Blue today you’ve used some form of Linux. Its everywhere.

2

Why did you chose another bank, and not a credit union?

3

Because he’s legally retarded like Tom Cruise.

4

due to some credit issues that are resolving in a few months, I needed to open an account fast using the path of least resistance. Online, after hours, not having to go to a branch. I’m not married to this bank and can seek out a credit union once my money is moved. I was also toying with the idea of using an internet bank (ing was recently purchased by chase I think so they might be off the list) but the 2 I was looking at offer a mandatory line of credit as overdraft protection. Due to the terms of my settlement I can’t open any new lines of credit for a few more months. For right now this works.

5

I think my credit union said you had to have credit below 450 or something before they’d decline you.

6

last I checked , my credit score was in the high 6’s low 7’s. I was able to lease my car with no issues (I asked the company handling my settlement if leasing buying a car was ok, they said “if someone is crazy enough to Lend you money thats on them”.) and didn’t get hammered on monthly payments or have to put $5000 down to even have them talk to me. this will all be over with every cent I borrowed or charged paid back with interest in a few months. Then I can pick a credit union.

7

bank of america sucks i caned them over 10 years ago glad i did.

8

Having been using linux as my primary desktop for 15 years now, I learned long ago, when you’re doing phone support for anything, just appease them. When they ask you to reboot, or start up IE, just pretend “okay, hold on…” …“ok IE is open…” Makes life easier.

Also, I know how you feel about bofa, I switched everything over to a credit union about a year ago. BofA is evil. I left enough with them to avoid fees and still be able to get money from ATM’s, but 100% of my actual banking is through my credit union. I’ll eventually empty and close my accounts with them.

9

bank I switched to told me “online banking set up is very very easy”. Having some issues with it (not recognizing my account), might have to switch to another financial institution.

10

Why can’t you do anything with electronics? Are you a wizard?

11

seriously. its pretty fucking bad. I don’t know if you have them in CO but here we have to use pre-paid MetroCards for NYC subways. Everytime I buy a metrocard it doesn’t work. I actually hopped a turnstyle once (imagine my 267lbs ass hopping anything) to catch a subway. I was with 6 other people and each purchased and used a metrocard from the same vending machine with NO ISSUES. I gave the card that didn’t work to one of them (as they use the subways more frequently than I) and they told me flat out “this fucking thing doesn’t work. WHAT did YOU do to it?”

if it has a circuit board, relies on the internet, or has other properties of electronics it will fail on me.

I have a Range finder camera from the 1970’s a pretty sweet Olympus XA that uses button cell batteries. I keep a few in my camera bag as back up. I went to check to make sure I had them in my bag before the NYC autoshow, EVERY SINGLE one of them had blown. Split the top from the bottom, dried acid everywhere.

12

Allah hates you.

13

I bet you could get a college to pay to run tests on you. Maybe you grew up next to power lines and fart EMPs or something.

14

LOL I should try that. I have always had the feeling that I was partially behind the nervous breakdown of a teacher I had at the Chubb Institute (when it was good and didn’t offer home study courses in gun repair, book keeping and being a pharmacy tech). I was taking background to Windows OS class and had to install of the existing windows OSes on an IBM laptop as part of my final. DOS perfect. 3.1 , without a hitch. 95 like I fucking wrote the code. 98 Everything is cool. NT amazing. 2000…Um.

“Wait what? Corrupt What? Invoke the hardware loader? BIOS failed? What the HELL is that on the screen? In 30 years of teaching I have NEVER seen anyone fuck up a computer this bad. Please enlighten me. Show me EXACTLY how you ATTEMPTED to install this OS”

I walked him through how I placed the cd into the cd-rom drive and pushed it closed. Then began to follow the prompts only to have the laptop take a MASSIVE shit in front of him. He gave me another disc and NEW laptop and the exact same thing happened… to 3 more discs and 3 more new out of the box laptops.

I was given a passing grade as it was clear that I could install and configure an OS to customer specs, but this guy retired about a week after my module ended. He cracked and I have no doubt I was part of that.

15

quick note. Just got off the phone with TD Bank. USA based 24/7 customer service. Thank god. I really don’t think I could handle dealing with India at this point. Account was not in the system due to the rep at my local bank cutting me a debit card on the spot on non business day. Everything was entered over the phone. ID was added. Online banking is good to go. Junkman is happy as a pig in shit.

16

Good ole Canadian based banks :wink:

17

I’m having a similar issue setting up my 401k.

18

where did you get $401,000?

19

My company matches 13,000%. What does your company match?

20

all your tax dollars.

suck it.